Private Read online

  Another thing I wasn’t ready to do with Noelle was trust her with

  “You already have,” she said with a shrug.

  my secrets.

  “But what about the . . .uh . . .”

  We reached the top of the hill and already most of our team-

  “The bill? Taken care of. I don’t give people presents they have mates were running drills on the field. Noelle dropped her bag at to pay for.”

  her feet. She swung her thick hair behind her shoulders and

  “Noelle—”

  reached back to gather it up into a ponytail.

  She stood and hoisted her bag. “Look, we can’t have you being

  “If you want me to be there when you make the call, I will,”

  unavailable, can we?” she said, walking backward toward the field.

  Noelle offered. “I’m usually good at bringing out the ass-kicker in I blinked. The foreboding was back. Was this part of whatever

  people.”

  plan Noelle had in store for me? The plan Taylor almost mistakenly My incredulousness must have shown, because she smirked.

  divulged? “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t give me that,” she said. “I mean, if we daughters of fucked-

  “Who knows? There may be some kind of glass-licking emer-

  up families can’t stick together, than where the hell will we be?”

  gency,” she said teasingly.

  I smiled. I had no idea what was screwed up about her family,

  “Lange! Brennan! Get your butts out here!” Coach shouted,

  but it made me feel better. If she was going to start telling me little waving her arm at us.

  bits about herself, maybe I could start to do the same. Maybe.

  Noelle grinned at me, then turned and strolled at her own

  Sometime.

  leisurely pace toward the field.

  “Oh. I almost forgot.” She crouched and reached into the side

  pocket on her bag. She pulled out a small, blue cell phone and held it up in the palm of her hand. “For you.”

  “What?” I said, picking up the phone. On the screen were the

  words “Glass-licker’s Phone.”

  No one had ever given me anything this expensive. Or this

  extravagant. Even if it did say “Glass-licker” instead of “Reed.”

  “You’re kidding me,” I said.

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  “To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked.

  “Actually, it’s about parents’ weekend,” I said.

  I was going to die from this pain. I really was. I squirmed and clutched at my bedspread.

  ANGER

  “Your mother and I are so looking forward to it,” he said.

  Oh, God. Come on!

  “Tell him!” Noelle whispered, kicking my foot.

  I shot her a look of death. If I hadn’t been so overwrought

  already, that never would have happened. She simply stared back, When Noelle arrived at my room that night, she spent ten minutes urging me on.

  blatantly looking around, picking up books, studying posters,

  “Well, that’s the thing,” I said. I squeezed my eyes shut. “I don’t squinting at pictures. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had think you should come.”

  started opening drawers. And I probably would have let her. Privacy A laugh. Then a pause. “What? Why?”

  was not an issue. All I could think about as she conducted her

  Even in my guilt, I rolled my eyes. “You know why, Dad.”

  search was whether or not everything would meet with her

  “Reed, your mother wants to come,” he said. “She even bought a approval. Finally she sat down on Constance’s bed and regarded me new outfit.”

  with an open expression.

  I swallowed hard. The outfit was not for me. I knew the way her

  “Let’s do this,” she said.

  mind worked. She was all about appearances. She wanted the other I nodded and sat across from her. The cell phone was slippery

  parents to think she belonged. But her nature would win out over from my palm sweat. Just dialing on the tiny buttons was difficult.

  her facade. There was no way she would get through the weekend

  My father answered on the second ring, sounding alert and para-

  without showing her true colors—without spewing them all over

  noid. He always sounded this way when he answered the phone.

  me. Just the mental picture was all I needed to go on.

  “Hello?”

  “It doesn’t matter, Dad. I don’t want her here,” I said.

  “Hi, Dad. It’s me.”

  “Now, Reed—”

  “Reed! Hi, kiddo!” His voice completely changed and the rush

  “I’m not going to change my mind,” I told him, earning a reso-

  of guilt was overwhelming. He sounded excited. Happy even. I

  lute nod from Noelle. “She’ll ruin everything. We both know it.

  glanced helplessly at Noelle. She gave me a stern look.

  Besides, think of all the money you’ll save—”

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  I glanced at Noelle. Saw her register this. I had just shown her And that was all I needed. I couldn’t crumble in front of her.

  my cards. No going back now.

  “I’m sorry, Dad,” I said honestly. “I can’t do it.”

  “Oh, Reed. It’s not about the money,” my father said. “Don’t do

  “I wish you didn’t have so much anger,” he said, sounding sad

  this—”

  and resigned.

  “I’m sorry, Dad,” I said, ready to burst into tears for any num-You try growing up in that household and coming out all

  ber of reasons. “I don’t want you to come and I’m not gonna change rainbows and unicorns.

  my mind.”

  “Yeah. Me too,” I said.

  There was a long pause. I imagined him in the kitchen, lowering Noelle looked confused. I took a deep breath. This had gone on

  his heavy frame onto one of the wooden chairs around the table. His long enough. I needed to get off the phone. I needed to get off and slumped shoulders. His hand on his face. I was going to cry at any hit something. “I have to go now, Dad. We have to go to dinner.”

  second.

  “Okay. Reed, if you change your mind . . . ,” he said hopefully. So

  “What am I going to tell your mother?” he said finally. “She’s

  hopefully it killed.

  been in so much pain lately. . . .”

  “Yeah, Dad. I know. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  And there it was. What it was all about. Her. How she would feel.

  I hung up before he could even say good-bye.

  How she would react. The terror and guilt she would rain down on

  “Nice work, glass-licker,” Noelle said, slapping me on the

  all of us when she was disappointed. I was so sick of it. So sick of shoulder.

  living in fear of her. The woman even had my father quaking in his

  “Would you please stop calling me that?” I blurted.

  boots.

  Surprised anger flashed across her face and for a split second I

  “Tell her to call me,” I said sharply. “If that’s what she wants.”

  thought she was going to explode. But then she smiled.

  “Reed. I was so looking forward to it,” he said. “To seeing you.”

  “All you had to do was ask.”

  My heart clenched. Not for the first time, I wished it were just my dad. That would make life so much easier. Maybe if I could just have him come. Maybe if there was a way . . .

  I felt myself start to crumble and I glanced at Noelle. She must have seen the weakness in my eyes because hers grew dark.

  “D
on’t you cave,” she said through her teeth. “Do not cave.”

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  most popular guy in school, but also the most powerful. People

  always seemed to listen and act on every word he said.

  “Hey,” he said, wrapping his warm arms around me.

  I sunk into him, breathing in his clean scent. So much better.

  CLARITY

  “Hey,” I replied. “So, I did it.”

  “Did what?” he asked. He leaned back slightly to look into my

  eyes.

  “I told my parents not to come.” Even as I said it, my heart

  clenched.

  I split off from Noelle on the way to dinner, hoping to find Thomas Thomas’s face lit up in a way I had never seen before. For the

  before everyone got to the table. After my phone call with my father first time, I could clearly see what he had looked like as a little boy.

  I was a jumble of warring emotions. At turns I was proud of myself, A little boy who had just been given a shiny new bike. Or in

  then guilty, then free, then miserable. I wanted to both laugh and Thomas’s case, perhaps a helicopter.

  burst into tears. I needed to talk to Thomas. I needed to talk to

  “This is perfect!” he said. “Now you can come to lunch with me

  someone who would understand.

  and my parents.”

  The weather had changed as if to match my mood. A light drizzle I looked at him, confused. “Since when are you so psyched about had started to fall just before we left Bradwell, matched with a chilly lunch with your parents?” Part of me had thought that since I had wind. I pulled my denim jacket tighter around me as I approached stood up to my dad, maybe he would be able to do the same.

  the cafeteria. Fall was definitely here. Students rushed by me, Apparently he wasn’t so inclined or inspired.

  hustling to get inside before the sky opened up. When I saw Thomas

  “Since you became available,” he replied, settling back into his standing outside the double doors I felt instantly relieved. He was, cool demeanor. “They’re dying to meet you. And when they’re

  as always, surrounded by random students, some of whom I now

  dying to meet someone, they’re usually on their best behavior.”

  knew and some of whom I had only seen around. Easton was small

  A bunch of girls from my floor walked by us in a clump, chatting enough that by this time I had seen everyone around. Thomas

  loudly as they slipped into the cafeteria.

  caught my eye, said a few words to his entourage, and they all

  “Why are they dying to meet me?” I asked.

  dispersed quickly. Sometimes I thought I was dating not only the

  “I told them about you and they love that I have an actual

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  girlfriend,” he said with a small smile. “Any sign of stability in my life sends them into ecstatic convulsions.”

  “Wow. So, have you never had a girlfriend before?” I asked.

  “Not one worth telling them about,” he replied. I flushed with

  pleasure as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer NEW TASK

  to him. “So come. Please? It’ll make everything so much easier.”

  I was flattered. Flattered and honored and just happy. Thomas

  wanted me to meet his parents. He practically needed me to. All the guilt I had been feeling over my own family was pushed aside.

  Noelle was right. This was my life now.

  I was just dozing off when my cell phone beeped. I jumped up, heart

  “Okay,” I said finally.

  in my throat. I glanced at the digital clock on Constance’s desk:

  “Really?”

  12:01 a.m. Who the hell was texting me at 12:01? It beeped again and

  “Are you kidding?” I said with a playful smile. “Count me in. I I scrambled through my bag for it, glancing over at Constance as I can not wait to meet Lawrence and Trina.”

  blindly searched. Her chest rose and fell in its normal rhythm

  without so much as a flinch. A sleep that deep could not be safe. But at least it was good for me.

  The screen of my cell was alight with a text message. I lost all breath when I saw the words.

  MEET BEHIND BILLINGS. U HAVE 3 MINS.

  What the?

  Okay. Apparently the slave portion of my relationship with the

  Billings Girls was not over.

  Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to think. I jumped up, threw a sweatshirt on over my pajama pants, and jammed my bare feet into sneakers. I felt loud and awkward and clumsy as I tiptoed out of the

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  room and closed the door behind me. I bypassed the elevator—

  selflessly with my work? I had thought she was kind. Normal even.

  which had a ping! that could wake the dead and was right next to Now she was staring me down with the rest of them asking me to, Miss Ling’s room on the first floor—and headed for the stairs. My what? Break into a teacher’s office?

  heart was in my throat all the way down the five flights and into the

  “Don’t look so freaked,” Noelle said. “Dramble’s office is on the lobby. I held on to the heavy back door to Bradwell until it finally first floor of Hell Hall. It’s a piece of cake.”

  clicked closed, expecting at every second for Miss Ling to appear,

  “If it’s such a piece of cake, why aren’t you doing it?” I asked.

  fearing that I’d tripped some silent alarm. But nothing happened.

  Then immediately regretted it.

  Thank God.

  “Excuse me?” Kiran said, her brow creased in disbelief.

  Outside, the air chilled my bones and the sky was as black as

  “I thought you’d want to help me, but if you’d rather I fail . . . ”

  death. No moon. No stars. I tripped myself twice on the short run Ariana said, playing the martyr.

  across to Billings and prayed the girls weren’t watching me

  “No. It’s fine,” I said, my throat dry. “How do I do it?”

  fumbling and stumbling. About ten seconds later I found myself

  “You’re a smart kid,” Noelle said, patting me on the shoulder.

  standing near the back wall of Billings, facing Noelle, Ariana,

  “You can figure it out.”

  Kiran, and Taylor. I gasped for breath.

  They weren’t even going to give me a hint? What the hell kind of

  “You were almost late,” Kiran said, her glossy lips pursed.

  people were they?

  “Sorry,” I replied, trying to stand up straight.

  “Now go,” Noelle said. “If you’re not back here in fifteen min-

  “We need you to do something for us,” Noelle said.

  utes, we’ll be forced to report you to security.”

  Shocker. I didn’t actually think I was here for an appreciation One look in her eye told me she was not kidding.

  party.

  “Go,” she said again.

  “What?” I asked.

  I thought about what they were asking me to do. I thought about

  “Ariana has a physics test tomorrow,” Taylor said. “We need you what would happen if I got caught. I thought about my life back to get it for her.”

  home and my life here and how everything I had ever wanted would The ground dropped out from underneath me. “What?”

  be within my grasp, but only so long as I was connected to the

  “I didn’t have time to study,” Ariana said blithely.

  Billings Girls.

  “And I didn’t have time to tutor her,” Taylor said.

  Of course, I did all this thinking in two seconds flat. Then I

  I stared at her. Was this reall
y the same girl who helped me so turned around and ran.

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  left the Billings Girls. Were they really going to call security on me?

  If they did, I was out on my ass.

  These could very well be my last moments at Easton.

  No. There had to be another way in. There had to be. All I had to SMOOTH CRIMINAL

  do was find it. And use it to get in. And find my way to Dramble’s office in the pitch black dark and . . .

  I better get going.

  I stepped backward and tripped over a spigot in the ground. My

  palm caught on a rough patch of wall as I went down and I flinched in One single light flickered above the arched entryway to Hell Hall. It pain. I was about to shove myself up again when I saw it. A small win-was a thick wooden door with one long, pebbled-glass window in

  dow set low in the ground. It was about a foot and a half tall and four the center. I looked around and took the steps to the door two at a feet wide and looked as if it were made of two sliding panes of glass. My time, hoping for a miracle. One tug on the wrought-iron handle

  heart took a hopeful leap. Basement windows. Of course. I had seen told me I had no such luck. The place was locked up tight.

  Kiran and her Dreck boy use one before. Apparently this was Easton’s

  “Shit,” I said under my breath.

  weak link, probably one of those things everyone knew about at this Back down the stairs, I raced into the darkness along the side of school. At least if they had been here more than a few weeks.

  the building and felt slightly safer. At least I was no longer right out I crawled over the cold dirt toward the window, the branches of in the open for all the world to see and expel. But as I inspected the the bushes that disguised them scratching at my face. I placed my cold stone walls I realized how very screwed I was. The first floor hand flat against the glass, said a quick prayer, and tried to slide the windows were set high above my head. I slid between two azalea

  pane aside. Nothing happened. I whimpered and tried again.

  bushes and stood on my toes, reaching for one of the windows. My Nothing. I dug my fingernails between the edge of the glass and the fingertips just grazed the lower sill. There was absolutely no way I window frame and pulled with all my might, holding my breath.

  could get up there, even if one of them happened to be unlocked.

  Two seconds later I fell backward, nearly ripping three of my

  How in God’s name could anyone classify this mission as cake?

  fingernails free. The pain was excruciating.