Confessions Read online

  "So you think he's innocent now," I stated. She leveled me with a glare. "I know he's innocent. I can't believe I ever thought he wasn't." I took a deep breath. It was a convenient story, but I wasn't convinced. I'd seen the ire that the very mention of Thomas raised in Blake. I could so easily imagine him losing control and doing something awful to Thomas. But I couldn't say that. Not to her. "What's he telling the police?" I asked. "He's keeping our secret," she said with a wry look. Like she couldn't believe he was still doing that for her--that he still cared. "The official party line is that he was broken up over Thomas's death and needed to get away."Nice. He was using his brother's murder to make himself look more sympathetic. This guy was rich. "His lawyer says I'm probably going to have to give a deposition, which basically means my life as I know it is over," she said. She shook her head and stared past me at the window. "I just keep thinking, if only we hadn't picked that night to get together. Blake would have been at Columbia, I would have been at home. . . . None of this would be happening."

  She lost it a little then and snatched a tissue from the box on her desk. My heart went out to her, but I had no idea what to say. I knew how she felt. How many "if onlys" had I pondered since the beginning of the year? Hundreds? Thousands? "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to listen to this," she said, toying with the tissue. "It's just, you're the only person who knows the whole story, and if I don't talk to someone ...""It's okay," I said. "I don't know if it'll make you feel any better, but you did the right thing. You couldn't let Josh sit in jail for something he didn't do." She nodded. "I know." "And I'm sure the lawyers will do everything they can to keep your name from getting out. I watch the news. They do this stuff all the time, right?" She nodded again. "The bottom line is, if Blake did do it, he needs to face up to it," I said. "He didn't do it," she said firmly. My jaw clenched. I realized then that I wanted Blake to be guilty. I wanted to be able to blame someone. I wanted this all to be over so that we could actually move on. So that someone could finally be punished for taking Thomas's life. For causing all this misery. But looking back at me were the eyes of a girl who wanted to believe more than anything that the guy she loved was a good guy. And I knew how that felt too.

  "Well, then he needs this opportunity to clear his name," I said calmly. "Either way, it's better for everyone that he's back. It's the only way we're going to find out what happened." She took a deep breath. "You're right. Thanks."It felt like the moment for me to go, but I didn't want to move until she told me to. "You know, Reed, you're kind of an old soul," she said finally. A smile jumped to my lips. "Fifteen going on forty. My dad's been saying that since I was little. First I was eight going on forty, then ten. ..." "Well, it's refreshing around here," she said. "None of the kids who go here ever have to grow up, but you're already there. Thanks for listening." "No problem," I told her. I took that as my cue and walked out, closing the door softly behind me. I wished her the best. I truly did. She seemed like a cool, if slightly misguided, person. But I wondered if she'd thank me so sincerely, if she'd think I was so very mature, if she knew that in the back of my mind I was hoping against hope I'd see her boyfriend fry.

  THE WAY IT WAS

  The crowd on the circle was unusually boisterous that night. The air was crisp and clear and once again hundreds of stars winked overhead. It was as if a huge leaden blanket had been lifted off the campus. Blake was in custody. And we were all willing to believe that this horrible chapter had officially been closed. The worst was behind us. "Who wants to get started early?" Kiran trilled, pulling a champagne bottle out from under her coat. As always she couldn't have cared less if any adults happened to be watching. Of course, the only people watching us were students in the three underclassmen dorms on the circle. Dozens of faces were pressed to the windows behind us, on the inside, looking out. A few people cheered and Kiran popped the bottle open, letting the foam spill out onto the cobblestones at her feet. Already half- sloshed, she chugged from the bottle before passing it on to Trey and the boys. Ariana shook her head but smiled, and even Noelle laughed, cuddling back into Dash's arms. Walt Whittaker took out a handkerchief and wiped the bottle before drinking from it; then Gage made a big show of running his tongue all around the mouth before sucking down half the contents.

  "Gage, man! You are so disgusting," Josh grimaced as everyone laughed and "eewwwed." "You are wrong, my friend! All the girls wanna suck my spit!" Gage said with a cackle, offering the bottle up. "Ugh. That is just so unsanitary." Cheyenne grimaced, waving him away. "I'll take it," Kiran said. She grabbed the bottle and took a swig and everyone "eewed" again. "God, Kiran. There will be plenty of germ-free bottles when we get there," Cheyenne said. "Now where's the fun in that?" Kiran asked, drinking some more. With each laugh, I felt lighter and lighter. "It's good to be back," Josh said in my ear, pulling me to him. My heart went all warm and gooey. "It's good to have you back." A pair of headlights lit up the trees and Cheyenne squealed. "The cars are here!" Two huge stretch SUVs rolled up the hill and somehow made the tight turn onto the circle. I had never seen anything like them before in my life. They were longer than buses, with huge tinted windows, and tires the size of a front door. "Now that's how I roll!" Gage shouted, flinging open the door of the first limo before the driver could even get out. He got inside, kicked back, and started playing with the stereo, while the rest of us all tried to figure out who was going in which car. "Let's hang back," Josh said, holding my hand.

  "Why?" I asked as Ariana, Kiran, and Noelle ducked into Gage's limo. He stared after them and I realized. "You don't want to be in her limo." Josh sighed. "I just... The less time I spend around that girl, the better." Okay, this was no good. First Thomas hated the Billings Girls and now Josh? I had to fix this somehow or I was going to be spending the rest of the year running interference. "Josh-" He turned around and headed for the other car, but the driver closed the door right in front of him. "Sorry, sir. All full," he said, holding up his hand. "There's room in the first car." Josh's shoulders slumped. "Come on," I said quietly. "It's just a short car ride. You can handle it." "Hollis! Let's go, man!" Dash shouted, sticking his head out of the limo. Josh turned to me, took a deep breath, and managed a smile. He lifted my hand and kissed it.

  "You're right. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm here." "Couldn't have said it better myself." We settled into the limo on the opposite end from Noelle and Dash. Somehow Cheyenne, Trey, and Rose had ended up with us as well. I would have thought Cheyenne would want to stay as far away from Noelle as possible tonight, just to avoid any unpleasantness, but maybe I'd underestimated her. Maybe she wanted to show how very much she wasn't affected. Josh hooked his arm around me and cuddled me into his side, and I resolved to stop thinking about the politics of Billings. Noelle and Dash were holding hands and whispering to each other. Kiran and Ariana were laughing over some shared story. Cheyenne and Trey were smooching, and Whittaker and Rose were chatting about their upcoming trips for the holidays. And we were all being whisked off campus to a private party while the rest of campus studied or slept or hung out in their common rooms watching DVDs and playing video games. Everything was getting back to the way it had been before. Everything was going to be okay.

  THE PALACE

  During the course of the ride, everyone kept shifting and moving around. Whispering, gossiping, checking out one another's jewelry and hair. Somehow Noelle and Dash ended up next to me and Josh. I sat in the center of the foursome with Noelle, while Josh pressed his knee into the door and stared out the window away from us. I could feel his tension and hoped we would be arriving soon just so that he could breathe again. "I still can't believe we're doing this," Noelle muttered. She whipped out a platinum compact and checked her hair in the mirror. Turned her face from side to side. "It's going to be so lame." I glanced across the limo at Cheyenne, who was laughing as Rose sang along to the song on the radio.

  "Don't stress. She can't hear me," Noelle said, snapping the mirror closed. "Not that I'd care if she did.""Jus
t relax, Noelle. It'll be fun no matter where we're going, as long as we're all together," Dash said lightly. "Okay, Tiny Tim. Whatever you say," Noelle shot back. I laughed and Josh tensed even further. Apparently he didn't even appreciate me laughing at her jokes. "Just look at this," Noelle said, scooting forward on her seat so she could see out the window on Dash's side. "We're in the middle of Dorothy land. Farmhouse. Farmhouse. Silo. Farmhouse. Oh, look! Cows! I knew we were going tipping!" That one Cheyenne heard. She glared at all of us for a moment before deciding to ignore it. She returned her attention to Rose. "She said there was going to be champagne. It's not like she's totally clueless," Dash said under his breath. "Well, there'd better be a lot of it if she doesn't want this to be the disaster of the century," Noelle grumbled. "Where is this place, anyway, Martin? Are you taking us to Canada? Because I don't do flannel."

  "We're almost there," Cheyenne replied, blithely smoothing her coat over her knees.

  The limo took a turn and whatever small amount of light there had been was gone. Curious, I scooted forward to look out Josh's window. There was nothing outside but the night sky and the trees, crowding in on all sides. We were on a road that appeared to be one lane. If anyone came at us from the other direction, someone would have to pull off into the dirt. "Middle of nowhere" was the phrase that came to mind. "Maybe she's taking us to her coven," Noelle theorized. "Maybe we're all going to be sacrificed." "That could be exciting," Kiran put in. "Seriously. It's like Children of the Corn out there. Where the hell are we?" She wasn't actually concerned, just obnoxious. The car turned again and I could feel the bump of cobblestones or bricks under the tires. "We're here!" Cheyenne announced.

  Suddenly the car was flooded with light. Josh perked up and Dash whistled. Everyone gathered at the windows now, sitting up on their knees to face out. We were on a long driveway that was flanked on either side by huge sparklers stuck into the ground, spitting white fire into the sky. There were hundreds of them, sparking and cracking, lighting the way to the house. "What the...?" The house. The house was not a house. It was a palace. It stretched out for what seemed like miles and rose up toward the sky with turrets and spires. On the second floor alone there were at least a dozen balconies with sliding doors. Light poured from every window, and each one was adorned with a classic wreath and red bow. There was a fountain in the center of the circular drive, and in the middle was a huge Christmas tree, all lit up and decorated with crystal ornaments. "What is this, Versailles?" I said under my breath.

  Josh chuckled and put his arm around me, finally relaxed. "So much for the sucky cow-tipping party, huh, Noelle?" She shot him a death glare as the limo pulled up next to a couple dozen other cars that were already parked in front of the house. "Huh," Noelle said. "Looks like there are already some people here, Martin" Cheyenne's face went ashen, and I knew. Everyone knew. Something was wrong, and whatever it was, Noelle had planned it. Her observation was not the product of surprise. All at once I heard the music pumping through the open front door.

  "What the hell is going on?" Cheyenne blurted. She grabbed for the door handle and tumbled out before the limo had even come to a complete stop. Trey quickly followed. We all looked at Noelle, who was barely suppressing a grin. She stared back at us, arranging her face into the picture of innocence. "What?" she asked, eyebrows raised. I shook my head at her and chased after Cheyenne.

  OUT-SCHEMED

  Stepping inside Cheyenne's summer home was like stepping into a museum. Everything was huge. The Croton High gym could have fit in the entry hall. The Christmas tree set into the crook of the winding stairs was big enough to grace Rockefeller Center. The mirrors were huge, the paintings were huge, the chandelier was frightening. I didn't even want to stand under the thing. "This place is sick," Josh whispered as he shed his coat.

  "It's a summer home," I said, wondering what the home they actually lived in looked like. "They only stay here during the summer." "Yeah, so who decorated it for the holidays?" Rose wondered. "Girl with money like this just has to snap her fingers and the staff of thousands takes care of it," Dash said, folding his coat and scarf over his arm. "Did anyone know Cheyenne was this loaded?" "Not I, but I officially have a whole new respect for the girl," Gage said. "She could keep me in the manner to which I've become accustomed." Noelle rolled her eyes and walked across the room, her heels clicking on the marble floor. Somewhere beyond the foyer there were voices and music. I hadn't even noticed it in all the awe. But now I saw that Noelle was heading for it and that Cheyenne and Trey stood hand in hand at one of several sets of open double doors. I hurried to join them.

  Cheyenne's face was all surprise as she took in the crowd in what I could only assume was her living room. Though how anyone could actually live among so much white without constantly staining something was beyond me. There were white throw rugs on the floor, square couches of white velvet, white high-backed chairs, and white pillows. Lounging on and around all the luxe furniture were at least fifty people, talking, drinking, and laughing. The doors at the side of the room were open to the outside, and I could see the lights on over an outdoor courtyard. A fire blazed in the huge fireplace, and waitresses circulated the room in black turtlenecks and slim pants, like a dozen Audrey Hepburns come to life. I recognized none of the guests, but could tell from their clothing and their demeanor that they were of the same class as the rest of the Easton students. Still, where had they come from? Did Cheyenne even know who these people were?"Oh, look!" Noelle said happily, shoving past the rest of us. "There's Ennis!"

  She grabbed a tall boy by the arm and dragged him toward us without so much as a greeting. He wore a blazer, shirt, and tie and looked like he was auditioning to be in a movie about 1950s prep schools, all fresh-faced and handsome. Cheyenne dropped Trey's hand and folded her arms across her chest. "Ennis Thatcher, this is everyone. Everyone, this is Ennis, Cheyenne's boyfriend," Noelle announced with an utterly spiteful grin. "Ennis, this is Trey Prescott--Cheyenne's date." My heart stopped for Cheyenne. Kiran snorted behind me. Noelle was good. She paid attention. She really knew how to hit a person where it hurt. Ennis flicked a look at Trey, like he wasn't quite sure what to make of him. He shifted his feet. "Hey, Cheyenne," Ennis said.

  "Ennis," she said. She was as pale as the snow outside. "What are you doing here?" "Oh, did I forget to tell you?" Noelle asked, hand to chest. "I invited all of your Barton friends. I posted the invite on their school website. I thought it was the least I could do after you saved our holiday party. And I knew you'd just be dying to see Ennis again."Cheyenne cast a sidelong glance at Noelle. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. Possibly her mind was a total blank after being so utterly blindsided. "Hope you don't mind, Shy," Ennis said. "It was kind of cold outside, so I used the key code and let everyone in." "Of course I don't mind," Cheyenne said, recovering quickly. "It's not like I want my guests standing outside freezing to death." Ennis gave her a tight smile, then looked at Trey. Here it came. The throwdown. The "What the hell are you doing here with a date?" Noelle's moment of triumph and Cheyenne's moment of defeat. I held my breath.

  "Hey, Trey. It's nice to finally meet you," Ennis said, reaching out his hand. I felt like the whole room had just tilted and then slammed back into place. Wait. What? "Nice to finally meet you"? "You too, man. I've heard a lot about you," Trey replied. They shook hands. Right there under Noelle's nose. I had never seen her look so nonplussed. "What?" Noelle blurted. "Ennis, did you hear what I said? Trey is Cheyenne's date." "I heard you," Ennis replied, pushing his hands into his pockets. There were patches of pink on his cheeks, but otherwise he seemed fine. "And I'm sorry to have to correct you, but Cheyenne and I are no longer together."

  I thought Noelle's jaw was going to actually fall from her face. A high-pitched sound came from the back of her throat. A sound she immediately regretted making as her mouth snapped shut and she turned royal purple. "You--," she fumed at Cheyenne. As if Cheyenne was the one who had attempted to do something awful here. Cheyenne simply smiled
, her eyes gleaming mischievously. "Oh. Did I forget to tell you that Ennis and I broke up, Noelle?" she said, lifting her hand to her chest the same way Noelle had. Josh chuckled and Natasha hid a smile. Badly. "Nice try, Noelle, but everyone here knows about everyone else," Cheyenne added. "Your cute little plan was sort of a waste of time, no?"

  "Wait a minute. At Billings that day, you said--" Cheyenne's brow creased in an overly exaggerated way. "Oh, right! I guess when I told you I wasn't ball-and-chained to my man, I should have also explained that Ennis was no longer the man in question. But it was so much more fun, you finding out this way, don't you think?" Noelle looked as if she were choking on her tongue. "And P.S., I invited everyone from Barton before you did. All you've done is get them here a little early, so thanks for that." Josh, Natasha, Rose, and a few others laughed. The entire world shifted before my eyes. Noelle was speechless, Cheyenne triumphant. Someone had actually out-schemed Noelle. It was actually possible. In that moment I felt proud of Cheyenne. Proud to know her. The universe didn't revolve around Noelle Lange, and Cheyenne had just proven it. She waved to someone across the room, then reached for my hand. "Come on, Reed, there are some people I want you to meet." "Me?" I asked, surprised.